Well, here you are. My baby girl. You’re, like, a real person. With real hands and feet and teeny tiny fingernails and astonishingly long eyelashes. And I created you. I created a perfect little person. It just blows my mind how awesome you are.
It’s strange because you’ve been on this Earth for five months and it somehow feels surreal and yet totally comfortable at the same time. You are my daughter. Even saying “my daughter” takes some getting used to. Like when you progress in a relationship and have to get used to saying “my fiancé” or “my husband.” I’m surprised at how much I like the sound of it…my daughter.
I have to admit, I never thought I would have children. I hope you don’t think bad of me for saying that, but I just was never a “kid person” growing up. I didn’t babysit, I didn’t ooo and aaah over babies on the street. I really never felt any maternal urges at all. I actually found it annoying when little kids would simply do what little kids do and just stare at me. Drove me nuts. Looking back it was probably a lot like an animal smelling fear. Those little ankle biters would take one look at me and somehow just know I wasn’t a fan.
Look at me, digressing already. I have a habit of that, kid, so my apologies in advance.
I read a lot when I was pregnant with you. I read book after book, and blog post after blog post, about how moms had never experienced a love so deep as they have with their children. I heard it from strangers, I heard it from friends, I heard it from family. It is a love like you’ve never known. And while it was impossible to actually comprehend this feeling or truly believe this love would overtake me upon your arrival, I figured if every single mother said the same thing, then it must be true.
And you know what, kid? They were all right. I love you so much it hurts. It is an overwhelming love. A love that I am, quite frankly, surprised by. But it’s real…and it’s here to stay. And you are, without a doubt, the best thing I have ever done and will ever do in my life. We’re still getting to know each other, but I can say that with complete and total certainty.
Which is why I decided to start writing. There is so much I want to remember to say to you as you grow up. Basic things that every girl should know; amazing advice I got from my own mom and dad; important lessons I want to teach you; truths and other reminders that I pray you will discover earlier in life than I have. I want to remember it all. And I want to use it to build a solid foundation for your amazing life…as you make your way in this great big world and become the remarkable woman I know you will be.
I will always be here for you.